Mister Frodo, Mister Frodo!

Greetings fellow internet dwellers, it is time once more to delve into the depths of fact and fiction that make up whatever passes for my intelligence these days.

Sorry to those of you expecting a blog last week (all three of you; don't worry, I've sent you chocolate in the post. If Royal Mail runs on time it should arrive next year) but I simply never got around to it, so my apologies! Start the year as you mean to go on I suppose...no point making you think I'll actually have anything to say for the rest of it now, is there?

As you may have guessed from the title, this weeks blog will be about J.R.R. Tolkein's fine masterpiece, The Lord of the Rings!

Tolkein's original cover designs, which adorn the editions I'm lucky enough to own.

Close friends will know it's taken me about a year and a half, but I'm almost at the end of these wonderful books. I realise a year and a half is quite a long time to read just one novel (or three volumes, or six books if you want to get really technical), but as anyone who has attempted to traverse these mighty literary tomes will tell you, they're a bit tricky to read.

Granted, trying to finish my degree at the same time was probably not the best time to start reading them. But what the hell, I like a challenge. I'm very nearly, almost, just about finished...

"But Toby, oh wizard of words and prince of prose," I hear the fantasy readers among you cry, "what makes you, dashingly handsome and devilishly clever as you are, fit to review or even comment on these volumes?" And you might rightly ask such a question. Well done you, have a biscuit. I'm not proposing any new academic insight that 60 years (yep, that's how old this book is!) of critics have somehow missed, like suggesting that Samwise secretly represents America's legal system and helps Frodo to overcome evil. Believe me, there are some weird theories out there...

My response is simply, why the flying duck not? I fully understand that these weighty volumes are difficult to get through, and the stories aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I wholeheartedly encourage everyone to at least give them a try. I will fully admit, Peter Jackson and his team did an amazing job bringing the story to life in the films, and are worth admiring in their own right. However, as I will say with just about every adaptation, in my view the books are much better.

I'll get my one criticism out of the way, and I've skirted around it already: these books are hard to read. I'm not even going to try and sugarcoat it, at times the exploits of Frodo and his chums is almost dire. But then it was written in the 1930s and 40s, and so the language and writing style reflect this. I can get past that, I did an English degree. I'm well-versed in pretending I understand what someone wrote two hundred years ago and why it's still considered literature. The problem isn't just that modern audiences expect a faster paced thrill with their reads, but that at points it feels Tolkein forgets he's telling a narrative altogether.

For instance, "Frodo and Sam are walking to Bree, they pass a hill; did you know there is a legend behind this hill? Well of course not, so here is the legend.Oh look, some Elves! The elves are singing a song. It goes like this..."

Obviously Tolkein's writing is a tad more dramatic than my own nonchalant attempt at satire (I'm sorry J.R.R., forgive me!), but you get the idea. However, once you get past that you're in for quite a rollercoaster, believe me. Well, since Tolkein was against industrialization, which is readily apparent throughout his treatment of Isengard's approach to destroying Fangorn forest (hurray, using my degree!), it's probably more like a nice carriage ride through the countryside. But with swords. And wizards. And songs. Lots of songs.

One of the things you don't get in the films is all the little extra bits of stuff, little snacks of a story that serve to tide you over until the main narrtive dinner. It can sometime serve to draw away from the overall plot, but usually it's still interesting. Such as the fact that Pippin is perceived by the people of Minas Tirith as a halfling prince come to share his wisdom and battle the Enemy, whereas in the films he's mostly portrayed as a bumbling fool.

Another good example is the story of the Old Forest and Tom Bombadil, found within 'The Fellowship of the Ring'. Pretty much entirely unrelated to destroying the ring, so it's clear why these bits didn't make it even to the extended editions of the films, but still very interesting, and they set the main plot in a much wider context which I think always makes them much more enjoyable.

Plus, with more space and less pressure to finish by a certain time that's inherant in novels, the characters feel much more real, and their actions make a lot more sense in the given context. Don't get me wrong, I'll say again the films are brilliant and all the actors play their parts extremely well, but the pathos you get in the books beats anything the films could ever put across. Sean Astin in particular is possibly one of the finest actors in the film, even causing a single manly tear to stain my manly face, but the books caused a downright waterfall of emotion. Heavy stuff, I assure you. Furthermore, when you get to bits of the story you might already know from, say, the films, it feels so much more epic to have every last detail described to you. Trust me when I say, Gandalf standing up to the Balrog is far more badass in the book (and that's saying something when you've seen Ian McKellan utter those immortal words that make every prospective exam candidate shiver.

All in all, most certainly worth a read. If you get the chance do try and read this fantastic book, but failing that, you could definitely manage 'The Hobbit'! The language might make you feel like a boarding schoolboy from the forties, but the story of Bilbo and his dwarven posse cannot be phased by even the passing of time. You've got a lot to live up to, Martin Freeman.

You're right to look concerned, it's a big challenge. That said, after your performance as Dr. Watson, I don't think you'll let us down!

Well, that's all from me chaps and chapettes, I hope I've managed to alleviate a certain amount of boredom for a few minutes of your day. If not, blame Thatcher. That one usually works. To my great fortune, this coming week I'm going to see Avenue Q in the theatre; an excellent show I'm told, plus I already have a topic picked out for next week! Gnarly.

I'll leave you, as per usual, with an interesting thought. It seems that Ron Jeremy, the famous adult entertainment star, has a master's degree in Special Education. I'll leave you to ponder what that means.

~ Toby